My world turned upside down and inside out when my husband Brian died in early 2017. He passed away after a three-year battle with colorectal cancer. He was diagnosed 4th stage at the age of 48 and was mostly asymptomatic. Meaning a screening may have saved his life, but he wasn’t yet 50, so he was being treated for misdiagnosed back pain. They’ve lowered the screening age to 45 because of many younger diagnoses. GET YOUR COLONOSCOPY TODAY!
Brian was a wonderful guy, my better half, an extraordinary father, and the love of my life. For seven years I have been a been a student of grief—it’s ebbs and flows, intensity, suddenness, and gifts. I’ve written quite a bit about how I’ve encountered and embraced grief and found the many ways to access my husband since his passing in my creative pursuits, through our children, and in my everyday experiences,.
I am working on a creative project to mesh my writing with my photography of New Mexico—the landscape that nurtured the early days of our relationship and where I returned to heal—along with found poetry from The On Being Project and Pádraig Ó Tuama’s Poetry Unbound. Stay tuned.
Here are a few photos and some public posts from Facebook that resonated with others and gave me comfort. I was also recently featured on Byte Sized Blessings, a podcast about the inexplicable and everyday spiritual experiences of our lives, hosted by a beautiful voice and curious soul, Kristen Rudberg. It was a cathartic experience to share some stories about my husband’s passing and ongoing grief and weave that with my upbringing in New Mexico and the Fetzer Institute’s recent spirituality research. You can listen here.